I was thinking of people around me, and how people do change.
Some did change for the better/worse, some remained the same.
I'm grateful to whose who still stayed on with me, supporting me and making sure that I'm still alright. Helpless to those who tries to pull me down even though it can be seen that I'm trying hard to stand upright. Sometimes helplessness can make me give up all that I have, just to have a simple piece of mind.
I always appreciate peace at all times, and hate to be disturbed. I had to admit that I have totally no ability to help anybody and hates it when people tries to get me to offer my help. I know that I'm always soft hearted and find myself stupid helping people when they could be having better qualities of life than me.
I totally have no idea, who is good to me, who is just making use of me. Tired of my life so much, that I really dunno what to do. No privacy, no freedom, no life. I used to have dreams of what I want to do, what I wanted to be. Now, I'm an engineer, which I always wanted to be one since young. What should be the next step to take?
My boss always talk about vision. Is there really one ahead when people around keeps pouring cold water, including those who are so closed to me. Instead of helping me and supporting me, all I get is coldness from the water continuously. hearing all those negative things like"Hey, I think you should...." when I never like them stepping into my little plot of privacy. Pinpointing me on all my mistakes, I'm not perfect to anybody, and which makes me tired trying to be a better person. "You think I need you to teach me what to do? You think I wanted to be the person which U think I should be?" I just wanted to be myself, even though it's not the ideal character or personality.
There are people who enjoys attention and wants more attention. I don't enjoy attention and I'm totally not interested in giving attention at all. If I don't like, means I don't like. Please don't ask me to do things which I don't like. If I want to do, I will do and it will be a good job.
How I wish that in real life, I don't mind being nobita, where I can hug my doraemon and cries for help. However, usually that is not the case.
